1. Cigarette : A pinch
of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end &
a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day
internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses
his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from
the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students
without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied
by the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such
a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power
is defeated by feminine water-power.
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before
marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going
to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not
read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your
strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get
to open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know
more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually
and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during
life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell
in such a way that you actually look forward to the
trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath
if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel
Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last
letter in ZERO,Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can
die rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest...
except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and
late when you are early.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections
and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills,
and kills you with his bills.
